A Christmas For One’s Own: Discovering Christmas Magic by Yourself and for Yourself

Regardless of the cheer all around, the holidays can be tough for many reasons. For the next few days, we'll be sharing thoughtful ways we get through it, from embracing time alone to dressing for comfort and perfuming ourselves in strength. First up, Attic writer Jessica Armstrong reflects on adapting to the holidays when living on your own. Stay tuned for more!

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All photos by Jessica Armstrong.

“There is an expectation that your calendar will be thronged with social events ranging from workplace festivities to family reunions, all leading up to the day itself, the most magical bit of it all.”

Traditionally as well as commercially, the month of December leading up to Christmas is often associated with happiness in its most extreme sense. Customary Christmas greetings typically encourage us to be 'merry and bright', while at the same time reminding us that this period is one associated with an unparalleled 'peace on earth'. 

However, underpinning all of the gestures of goodwill is an incredibly social aspect. There is an expectation that your calendar will be thronged with social events ranging from workplace festivities to family reunions, all leading up to the day itself, the most magical bit of it all. It is a time of year nearly designated for 'togetherness', something which is hard to deny when it seems like there is a bobble-hat-clad couple everywhere you look, or when a happy family in matching novelty jumpers is never too far away. 

“Having relocated to a new city this year, missing out on the joy of Christmas was certainly something part of me dreaded as the season crept closer and closer.”

While all of these examples of love and joy in the world around us are something to be incredibly grateful for, they can also create a significant amount of pressure for those of us who live on our own, or who don't currently have a significant other or group of friends nearby to experience the magic of Christmas with. Having relocated to a new city this year, missing out on the joy of Christmas was certainly something part of me dreaded as the season crept closer and closer. 

This was especially pertinent as, for all of the period's associations with love and light, there is a very definite (and almost paradoxical) fact that it is also at this time of year when our spirits can be prone to slip. While we are expected to feel at our cheeriest, we have limited exposure to daylight, and the weather gets colder — a combination which can often make us feel a bit less energetic and joyous than usual. 

Despite my fears, however, that my lack of familiarity with a city would make me enjoy this time of year less, I have found that having to navigate the Christmas period on different terms has actually led me to enjoy it more. While I will undoubtedly look forward to spending some time with relatives and close friends over the holiday, I have found the period leading it up to it has provided me with plenty of reasons to be hopeful, even in my more solitary moments.

“Despite my fears, however, […] I have found that having to navigate the Christmas period on different terms has actually led me to enjoy it more.”

While inquisitive relatives mightn't take this view, Christmas can be a time for joy for all of us, even those of us who find ourselves being a bit more independent at this time of year, and I have found plenty of it around, peacefully on my own

“There is certainly something to be said for being able to indulge in some cultural cuisine without worrying about sharing, or being able to actually peruse the Christmas gifts on offer without fear of being interrupted.”

While Christmas markets might appear to be cheesy spaces built to be the background to cosy couple photoshoots, I found out this year that they can be just as delightful (if not more so) without another person in tow. While they can sometimes be a bit overwhelming, there is certainly something to be said for being able to indulge in some cultural cuisine without worrying about sharing, or being able to actually peruse the Christmas gifts on offer without fear of being interrupted. A visit to a Christmas market - particularly in the early stages of the month - can prove to be an unexpectedly uplifting venture, and there is the constant comfort that they will remain a surprisingly familiar sight, however far away you might be from home. 

As Olivia has already explored in an earlier piece this month, the process of writing cards to our loved ones can prove to be incredibly heartening - even when they might be far away. While taking the time to write a message can help us to reminisce on the year gone by, receiving a card can be even lovelier. Is there anything more humbling to realise that people have taken the time not only to think of you, but also to physically express those thoughts, before sending them off so you can have them to keep?  

While this is an activity which requires some alone time and concentration, it is also one which can help us feel more connected to those we care for, regardless of the miles which might be between us. 

The idealised versions of Christmas which surround us at this time of year can make it easier for us to grumble about what we ourselves may be lacking, but there is also an amazing opportunity for us to give what we have to help others, if we have the means to do so. Many charitable organisations run appeals which attempt to ensure that as many children as possible can have a gift to open, that as many people as possible can have a warm meal, and that as many people as possible can have a chance to enjoy Christmas day, despite the challenges they face. Offering our time, money, or simply company to those we know who find this time of year difficult can be a real salve for our own concerns and frets. 

I have also found that one of the most effective ways to negate the constant pressure to be cheerful and socialising at this time of year has been to intentionally dedicate time to be by myself. Whether that has been by settling down to watch a new Christmas film, or to dive into a new read, it is important to remember that this time is just as valid as everything else on our schedules. In the midst of weekdays full of the chaos of work or study, an evening at home with a hot chocolate in hand and a feel-good film in view has proven to be as just as good a remedy as any social event. 

As mentioned before - even though twinkly lights cannot guarantee happiness, I have certainly found that hanging up a couple of strings of multi-coloured bulbs has done no harm to my mind-set in this festive period. In fact, they provide a little ambience and cosiness which is particularly appreciated when I am aware that the weather is unsettled and dreary outside.

Making the effort to acknowledge the season through my interiors in my new flat has also helped to reinforce the fact that my flat is no less of a home just because it happens to be fit for one person.

Ultimately, while the Christmas period can prove to be as stressful as it seems sparkly at times, it is often away from all of the glitz and the glamour that purposeful time to reflect on and endure the season can be found. Even on one's own, it is full of possibilities for optimism and hope.

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A self described student for life, Jessica Armstrong left one university for another, and now works in Belfast. When she isn't trying to reduce her caffeine intake or levels of sarcasm, she can probably be found trying to get through as many Victorian tomes as possible.